Advice from pediatricians across Sutter Health on helping kids and teens navigate school, friendships, social media and emotional well-being.

The first day of school can bring a mix of excitement and anxiety.

A kindergartner wonders whether they’ll make friends. A middle school student worries about changing classes. A high schooler feels pressure to keep up with academics, sports and social expectations.

While some nervousness is normal, pediatricians say parents can play a powerful role in helping children feel secure, connected and confident as the school year begins.

Start with connection

One of the most important things parents can do is simply check in.

“Connect and reassure,” says Dr. Marjorie Bohn, with Sutter Medical Group of the Redwoods in Santa Rosa. “Check in with your child about how they’re feeling about the new school year. Listen to their concerns and remind them that feeling nervous is normal.”

She encourages parents to let children know: “I know this feels scary, and I’m here for you.”

Those conversations should continue throughout the year, says Dr. David Tejeda, with Sutter West Bay Medical Group in San Francisco.

“As children get older, they’re looking for more independence — but they still need guidance,” he says. “Regular conversations about school, friends, social media and everyday challenges can help them navigate the year with confidence.”

Routines create security

Children often feel more confident when they know what to expect.

“A predictable schedule can help children feel more secure and less overwhelmed,” says Dr. Bohn.

That includes consistent bedtimes, healthy screen-time boundaries and time to relax after school.

Dr. Tejeda recommends starting those routines before school begins, gradually adjusting bedtimes, wake-up times and morning schedules a week or two in advance.

Sleep plays a particularly important role in emotional well-being.

“A consistent sleep schedule helps children stay focused, regulate their emotions and perform better in school,” says Dr. Tejeda.

Practice brave steps

Parents naturally want to protect children from uncomfortable feelings. But pediatricians say confidence grows when children learn they can handle challenges.

Dr. Bohn recommends helping children prepare by:

• Visiting the school
• Walking through their daily routine
• Meeting their teacher
• Arranging for a friend or school staff member to greet them at drop-off

“Celebrate their efforts and remind them they can handle difficult moments,” she says.

A note of encouragement tucked into a backpack or lunch box can also provide reassurance during the day.

Creating healthier digital habits

As children and teens spend more time online, screen habits can affect mood, sleep and overall well-being.

Dr. Dan Brennan, Sutter’s Greater Central Coast Children’s Service Line medical director and a pediatrician with Sansum Santa Barbara Medical Group in Santa Barbara, recommends that parents model the behavior they hope to see.

“If you constantly have your phone in hand or within arm’s reach, you are setting an example for your teen,” he explains.

Other strategies include:

• Setting time limits for phones and social media
• Creating family screen-free times
• Avoiding screens 60-90 minutes before bedtime
• Keeping phones out of bedrooms overnight
• Planning occasional phone-free family activities

For Dr. Tejeda, communication matters just as much as limits.

“Talk regularly with your child about what they’re seeing online,” he says. “Encourage them to come to you if something makes them uncomfortable and remind them that social media doesn’t always reflect real life.”

Sports should support well-being

For children and teens involved in athletics, it’s important to make sure sports remain a positive part of life.

“The goal isn’t to keep up with everyone else. It’s to find what’s reasonable for your child,” says Dr. Anita Juvvadi, with Sutter West Bay Medical Group in San Francisco.

She encourages families to think realistically about balancing school, sports, extracurricular activities and family time.

Parents should also watch for signs of burnout, including:

• Consistently declining athletic performance
• Chronic exhaustion
• Falling grades
• Loss of enjoyment in a previously loved sport

Healthy sports participation should leave children feeling challenged, energized and connected — not overwhelmed.

When it may be time to seek support

Sometimes anxiety goes beyond typical first-day nerves.

Dr. Tejeda encourages parents to watch for changes in mood, sleep, appetite, school performance or interest in favorite activities.

“If your child’s anxiety continues or makes it difficult to attend school, contact your child’s primary care clinician for support,” says Dr. Bohn.

Helping Children Thrive

Back-to-school season isn’t just about academics. It’s about helping children feel safe, supported and ready to grow.

“Your calm support and encouragement can help your child feel safe, confident and ready for the school year,” Dr. Bohn says.

By staying connected, creating healthy routines and making space for honest conversations, parents can help children build the resilience they need, not just for the first day of school, but for the entire year ahead.

Read more: 11 Ways to Help Kids Start School Strong